Monday, December 27, 2010

Nervous Nurse Press

I've been thinking.

You can pat me on the back for that, or you can wait.

Was it worth the wait?:

I've been thinking about friendships. And balance, reciprocity. And what you need to know about yourself to have friendships that span coasts & continents. I've been thinking about culpability & excuses. Guilt. And how you need to acknowledge your own selfishness & tiredness in order to fight those urges & have friendships that expand & grow, not just simmer & maintain. That friendships can't really be enriched or flourish (I know these are totally new-agey terms) without being honest with yourself, without an awareness of how you, specifically, engage.

I love my friends so much! I think about my friends all the time. And I've been thinking that often I let 1) my tiredness 2) my relatively not-fascinating life 3) & my pure, unadultered hatred of the telephone inhibit or even prohibit the frequency & intensity in which I keep in touch with the people I love.

I've realized that saying I hate the phone is NOT a real excuse. Because I love the people who pick up the phone when I call. And that because I hate the phone, I avoid making phone calls, and then when I finally call people, I dread it, because it's been so long that I get nervous I won't remember any of the details of my life that might be good to share. I'm afraid that I will call someone and then say, "Oh, I don't know what I've been up to..." And then my friend will realize that I'm a dull brick of a person.

So one thing I'm going to do is start calling my friends more often. Are you ready? Are you? I hope you are.

The other thing is that I love handwritten letters. And postcards. And I do not dread sitting down to write a letter. I don't dread that at all. Sometimes I let my tiredness get in the way. I say, "I'm so sleepy." I forget how little effort & energy it actually takes to find a pen & write a letter to a friend. So I am going to make a serious attempt at writing letters with unflappable frequency to those I love. So, if you would like letters, send me your mailing address to my gmail & I will save it & write to you.


It's already begun. Letters are being written & sent through the mail.


Also, apologies if there is a high amount of typos in this post but I'm in Mexico & the spell check switches to Spanish here...so.

3 comments:

gun street girl said...

julia cohen, are these letters/postcards also okay for strangers. i know it's not okay to talk to them, but what about writing to them? i often read your things when i don't know what to write and it helps and i would really like a handwritten thing. but i don't know your gmail address. it is okay if that is not okay. i would send one back if that is also okay. gmail a stranger. carrie.lorig@gmail.com

Suzanne said...

nice photo Julia (if I do say so myself)
fun spending time with you - Robin is also on his way back home, we are sitting here kind of vacant today - not sad or anything just, well, a new year to contemplate. glad to have your parents in our lives and to have had the few hours together with you too.

Feliz Año!

Julia Cohen said...

Carrie, yes, send your address to:

julesycohen@gmail.com

Suzanne,
it was lovely to spend time with you in mexico. Thanks for taking us on so many adventures. Hopefully I'll see you soon enough!
Julia