Friday, January 9, 2009

When You Stay Out All Night Buying Soy Sauce It Hurts My Feelings Press

How we entertain ourselves in The Palace:

Suggested Taglines for the Year 2009, if 2009 Were a Film Rather Than a Year

In this town, you're really going to need a raincoat.
No pants, no syllabi.
Bowling has never been so gross!
Witness the birth of an antelope.
Witness protection? More like witness sexy.
Hunting season never ends.
My mom gave me a whack-ass back-scratcher.
One pill makes you… smellier?!
Just one more hug.
This tadpole just won't grow legs!
When all you can say is "pleasedontleaveme."
Impunity & Immunity!
Vegetarian gravy.
Who told you that you can't breathe under water?
You'll never eat another second-hand hot dog again.
Playgrounds aren't just for children....
Your pants won't make you happy.
He believes in karma... to death.
Milk! Miiiiiiiilllllk!
A dying planet. A fight for life.
A great year at its greatest!
Bitches, brews & broomsticks.
The shiniest faces in all of western America.
Cat calls? More like wedding vows.
What does God need with a pack of Starbursts?
No one has had pink eye more times than Nate.
All woman (kinda).
Tickle, tickle.
All woman kind(a).
Some hotpants never cool down.
Some hotpants were born to work the coalmine.
Sometimes an airplane grows a brain… and falls in love.
He didn't find his dreams... He never did.
The longest game of tag with a seamonster ever.
Thank you Dolph Lundgren for making us laugh at falling in love... again.
Living & Loving in Gator Manor.
I think I need to exit the apartment.
I'm sinking into do-nothing mode.

***

Cannibal Books has just released Keith Newton's first chapbook, Sent Forth to Die in a Happy City. I NEED TO READ THIS.

You need to read it too.

You need to read it to me.

2 comments:

HCG said...

Wow, it's only the 9th and I've experienced 2, 11, 14, and some of the 30's. Prescient.

Poetry Bear said...

i read it last night. it's REALLY good.