Thursday, February 28, 2008

More Than a Cryptogram Press

What happened yesterday? The sales woman at Victoria's Secret tricked me into buying something. That's all I have to say about that. I don't feel "duped" per say. Just a little mystified.

What else happened yesterday? Oh yes, office dialogue:

Scene: One tiny office shared by two people, with no window that opens.

Office-mate: Sorry, my lunch is stinky today, I'll try and eat it as quickly as possible.

Me: Maybe you shouldn't bring a lunch that you know, upon being microwaved, will disgust and alienate your office-mate.

Office-mate: [Silence]

Me:...[Sigh]...Just kidding.

Office-mate: [Sound of getting up to microwave fish based dish.]

End Scene.

***

Do you live in Chicago? Do you live there on March 2nd? If so, go to this for me:

Experiment #19: A Collaboration: Red Rover Series

Jen Tynes & Kate Greenstreet
Tagline: Two women. Two Microphones. Two Versions of the Story.
Host: Red Rover Series
Type: Music/Arts - Performance
Time and Place Date: Sunday, March 2, 2008
Time: 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Location: The Spare Room
Street: 4100 W Grand
City/Town: Chicago, IL

**

March 1st is sooner than you think.

**

Oh shit, the new Octopus is up: http://www.octopusmagazine.com/issue10/main.html

80 poets, ladies and gentlemen. 80 poets. If you find a poet you like on the site & you want to find his/her poem again, the only way to do so it to play Memory. And the only way to understand what I mean by this is to go to the website and see for yourself. While you're at it, why don't you read a poem by Tomaz Salamun. Or, say, C.D. Wright? or 78 other poets.

This issue is what's up.
**

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Billy Collins Is Fascinated By Micropresses Press

I have good news! I know that usually my blog is a total downer: I'm always keeping a count of dying puppies, drug-addled popstars, and chronicalling my irrecoverable descent into the dark world of fantasy baseball...

However, I'm going to put all those tallies and morbid baseball driven diary entries aside to say:

I'm very happy to that Transmission Press will be publishing Mathias' and my new chapbook, Chugwater. This chappy is a series of poems that hopefully function individually but also pool together to form a swirling landscape of cotton fields, floods, drownings, self-resuscitation (if that's possible), swinging hatchets, and children. Oh, the scampering, knowing children.

And Transmission Press is kick-ass because all the chapbooks look fantastic, are affordable and, well, tight:

Orgie in the Beef Closet by Michael Koshin:

Traceland by Mark Lamoureux:

The Moveable Ones by John Sakkis:


You can buy these and more by going to:
http://transmissionpress.blogspot.com/

Good day.

also, if you haven't been there already, a blog and a website for you to peruse:

the lovey, giraffe lovin' poet, "Chicky Wang": soggybear.blogspot.com

and

Bernard Kravitz's http://sonofwill.tumblr.com [http://sonofwill.tumblr.com]

***

Also, this weekend has some serious readings piling up:

1)
The Burning Chair Readings
invite you to experience leap year w/

Buck Downs, Corrine Fitzpatrick & Greg Fuchs

Friday, February 29th, 8 pm
Unnameable Books
456 Bergen Street
btwn. Flatbush & 5th Aves.
north Park Slope, Brooklyn
nearest the 2/3 but easily accessible from almost any train
unnameablebooks.net

Author Bios
A native of Jones County, Miss., Buck Downs lives and works in Washington, DC. Recent books include Ladies Love Outlaws and Recreational Vehicle.

Corrine Fitzpatrick is the author of two chapbooks - Zamboangueña (Sona Books, 2007) and On Melody Dispatch (Goodbye Better, 2007). She's working on a new set of poems called Minor Crimes and Casualties, and will have other poems out in vehicular number one, a new split-side series from press gang.

Greg Fuchs is the author of several books, including most recently Metropolitan Transit (isabel lettres) & Bored of Education (Rock Heals). He is columnist-at-large for Boog City and with John Coletti co-edits Open 24 Hours Press. His photographs and writing are available online at gregfuchs.com.

I totally have a friend-crush on Corrine.

***
2)
Man, this reading is killer. I love it when novelists and poets mix it up:

Open Letters Monthly is throwing a one-year anniversary party and celebrating with a reading featuring three of the finest young writers in America.

Joshua Harmon, Sommer Browning, and Adam Golaski will read selections from their work at the Lily Pad Gallery in Inman Square on Saturday, March 1st at 7:30pm. We'll have refreshments, information about the magazine, and readings from some of the best poetry, fiction, and translation we've seen.

Joshua Harmon will read from his debut novel Quinnehtukqut. This from our November issue: "Harmon is a brave writer, and one of the novel's great strengths is its daring mix of narrative styles: from a straight third-person which easily shuttles back and forth through time, to haunting impressionistic monologues, to jagged, folkloric nuggets and parallel narratives that creep alongside one another on the page."

Open Letters Monthly publishes just one poem a month, and Sommer Browning remains the only poet we've published twice. First in April, and then July.

Rounding the bill will be Adam Golaski, whose innovative new translation, Green, miraculously contemporizes the buzz and thwack of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, seamlessly easing the poem into the locus of everyday speech and so making it still more strange.

come join us!

Saturday March 1st, 2008
Open Letters Monthly 1st Anniversary Party & Reading
Joshua Harmon, Sommer Browning, Adam Golaski
Lily Pad Gallery, 1353 Cambridge Street (Inman Square), Cambridge MA
***

3)
AHH, and this one, too. This makes me especially sad because I thought this reading was during the week, so I could go. I had committed to going in my mind. But it's on the weekend and I'll be out of town, so now I have to break up with my mind:

Thom Donovan's PEACE ON A has invited PhillySound http://PhillySound.blogspot.com

BE THERE FOR A GREAT NIGHT OF POETRY!
Saturday, MARCH 1st
8pm

166 Avenue A (btwn 10th & 11th)
APARTMENT #2

PhillySound READERS WILL BE:

CAConrad
Mytili Jagannathan
Dorothea Lasky
Chris McCreary
Frank Sherlock
Kevin Varrone
****

Tell me how these go, please.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I Watch Nova Movies In Bed Press

My Mom sent me an email with the best first line I have ever received in a letter:

Do you remember me telling you a soft child thing.

No, no question mark. I dare you to top this, this "soft child thing."
That is going in a poem, back off.

***

I've been watching Physics: The Elegant Universe before I go to sleep. In bed I learn about string theory. Narrated by Brian Greene. It's the weirdest series because it switches from having very slow paced, goofy, visual effects and 2nd grade language to totally tripping me up with quick summations of quantum mechanics. I get all relaxed with a scene like "Eating at the Quantum Cafe!" and then I'm a bit lost when Greene describes the the earth rolling around a grooved path in a sun's web cloth thing. I am learning how to unite quantum mechanics with the theory of relativity. Apparently it takes 6 dimensions to do so and lots of itty bitty strings.

I bet poets can do to it in 4 dimensions sans strings. Pshaw.

***
Tomorrow night I'm going to see the Bowerbirds with a few friends. I saw them over the summer and it was a very sincere, fun show. Made people move around more than the typical hipster head nod:

***

I'm going home to read two manuscripts tonight. One is a novel and one is poetry, by two people whose writing I respect, so I'm excited about this. It will be the last quiet night of my week before the "social" plans kick in.

***

New issue of Birddog is out. Did I tell you this already? I don't think so. Sorry, no cover image to show you, but it's bright red and houses poets such as:

Terita Heath-Wlaz
Brian Henry
Robert Mittenthal
John Olson
Sharon Lynn Osmond
Julia Cohen
Daniel Comiskey
Sarah Anne Cox
Jordan Davis
C. McAllister Williams
Shira Dentz
Michelle Detorie
Judith Roitman
Sandra Simonds
Stephanie Strickland
Mathias Svalina
Kate Eichhorn
Nava Fader
Garth Graeper
Jessea Perry
Andrea Rexilius
Eileen R. Tabios
Art from Nita Hill
Plus, Sharon Lynn Osmond reviews Valerie Coulton’s The Cellar Dreamer & John Olson reviews Rosmarie Waldrop’s Curves to the Apple and Claude Royet-Journoud’s theory of prepositions

(I have a collab poem in that red thing.) Copies can be ordered: http://www.birddogmagazine.com/issue9.htm

Kickin' it.

***

So, I keep getting the mail of a former colleague. She was on this publishing list where every month or two you get a free, advanced copy from whatever literature genre of your choosing. Well, she chose chick lit. So, this month I opened the thin box and outpopped "Modern Relationship Advice from the Wisdom of Arranged Marriages."

No joke.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

We Crash Shabbat Press

Friday evening I headed to Philly to say goodbye to a good friend, JPH, moving to California:

I crashed a lovely shabbat dinner/hang out. As soon as I walked in the door I realized that the zipper of my coat was stuck. I had a moment of panic when I couldn't unzip it and thought that a room full of peacefully chatting Jewish folk would have to help a stranger (me, bad jew) rip the jacket from my body. My coat did that It's-A-Sign-You-Need-A-New-Coat thing, where the two zipper halves separate from each other, and then you can't move the zipper down because the teeth aren't aligned (and you panic because you can't get your head out of the neckhole otherwise). People started looking at me. Luckily, JPH and WS (his roommate) freed me before it got incredibly awkward. I'm quite comfortable with "awkward," but I'd like to avoid "incredibly awkward" when I can. Good conversation ensued.

Both JPH and WS were moving out of the apt so it was pretty barren, besides a makeshift pingpong table. I like pingpong more than I should. WS, right after I slaughtered him at pingpong "because [he] was sleepy.":
Yes, that's actually a desk.
Yes, those pingpong paddles are mini-sized.
Yes, that net is actually a block of wood.

WS's girlfriend corrupted the keyboard. See, it spells out "I Heart You!" which is cute, but also makes it very hard to type:

The computer also knows that there will be lots of dude's crashing on the futon, using the computer and most likely having difficulty typing with the "I Heart You!" row of keys:

I'm that dude:

I will miss Philly & the tiniest food co-op in the world. I'm not going to say anything else sentimental.

Like, ever.

**

On Tuesday I'm very tempted to go to this, but I don't know where I put my dancin' shoes:

Surf/twist/striptease music.
The band will consist of Michael Leviton on electric guitar, Matt Bauder on saxophone, Chris Van Voorst Van Beest on electric and upright bass, and Ben Shapiro on drums.

Appropriate dances will include “the itch”, “the stroll”, “the pony”, “the dog”, and “the hitch-hike”.

Tuesday, February 26th
Cakeshop
http://cake-shop.com/
152 Ludlow between Stanton and Rivington
We’re on first at 8:30pm
$6
21+

***

CA Conrad is reading sometime this week but I can't find the info on it. Can someone email it to me? Thanks.

***

A great chapbook just popped into the world, courtesy of Kitchen Press. It's selling quickly, you should buy it:

Dear All,

I'm very please to announce that Joseph Massey's new chapbook, Out of Light, is now available at the Kitchen Press Book Store:
http://www.kitchen-press-book-store.blogspot.com/

From the book:


Ledge


By a stalk of
bramble thrust


up from brush
that skirts this


cliff ledge—
a humming-


bird hovers
thorn-level.


What people are saying:

I read Out of Light straight through (rare for a book of poems) when it arrived late yesterday: and again (rarer still) this morning; focusing different facets of the prisms. The echo I felt was a memory of the pleasure of beginning Merrill Gilfillan's Magpie Rising -- dispassionate language that shares a passionate view. That I was driven to learn more of the history, geography and politics of Humboldt County is a bonus. With this collection Massey has removed the last traces of clutter and lets emotion dance to nature.

--Tom Raworth

For those familiar with Joe Massey's work, Out of Light should continue to impress with a particular eye, and an equally particular ear, for the sensual or sensate. If it is true that the observer always alters the observed through the very act of measure, then Massey has certainly made an art of such alterations through the singular event of the poem. "No ideas / but in things," Williams might say, but this no longer suffices. "A thrust of // things— / a world— / words—// crush / against / the margin of you" says Massey, and throughout this collection of exacting poems one is apt to experience a tension between how the poet's world acts upon him, and how the poet acts upon his world, wherein the consequence of every act is measure itself. In Out of Light, there are no ideas but in such interactivity, an interactivity that bespeaks Joe Massey speaking. For those unfamiliar with his work, you will want to listen. And for those familiar with his work, you will want to listen—again. And again.

--Christopher Rizzo

***

I'm not going to talk about any other news because I think you should focus on buying this chapbook.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Rolex vs. Roll-a-Dex Press

I'd choose the Rolex. Then I would sell it & give you a cakeshop & a book contract.

I'm that kind of friend.

**

I REALLY want to go see Cai Guo-Qiang's show at the Guggenheim. (If I called it "The Gugge" would that be like how Jewish women call Bloomingdales "Bloomies"? Do other people besides Jewish women from Brooklyn call it Bloomies? I only know my family. Let's go to Bloomies.)

Anyways...:

On January 18, 2008, a team consisting of the artist Cai Guo-Qiang, members of his studio, full-time staff, and temporary installation crews of the Guggenheim Museum’s Curatorial, Art Services and Preparations, Registrar, Conservation, Fabrications, Construction, Multimedia, Lighting, and Exhibition Management departments began the month-long installation of Cai Guo-Qiang: I Want to Believe. The images here represent the technically challenging task of installing three of the exhibition’s works: Borrowing Your Enemy’s Arrows (1998), a suspended fishing boat pierced with approximately 3,000 arrows; Head On (2006), an arc of 99 life-size replicas of wolves that appear to be leaping head on into a glass wall; and Inopportune: Stage One (2004), a series of nine cars, some of which are suspended from the top of the museum’s rotunda.

Photo from exhibit:

Another:


Who's coming with me? You? Good.
**

I went to Barnes & Noble the other day. These books were very close to each other on display. You have to guess which one is actually a children's book and which one is actually for grown-ups:
A)

B)


C) Well, This is definitely part of the cover for the children's book.
I went with a co-worker to get his niece a gift. So I found myself looking at the new kid books. I was taking a close up of this cover and the woman next to me bumped into me as she reached for a stuffed animal. She apologized and said, "Sorry, Im in your way." and I was like, "No, sorry, you're just reaching for a duck toy, I'm the grownup in the kids section taking photos. Sorry..." And then I scurried away.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Ricecakes Are Good Vehicles to Eat Eggs on Press

1) The Ricecake is a good vehicle to facilitate the eating of eggs. Science fact. I've had egg sandwiches a lot recently- I have a feeling when I finish this carton, I will take a good long break from eggs, and find another food group to put on my ricecake. Science fact. (By the way, is there any other legitimate food to put A1 sauce on that is not steak? If you find out, can you let me know? Like, could I use A1 on veggie burgers and not hurt my stomach?)

The rest of my post will have everything to do with science facts.

2) I keep playing the same three things on my way to work in the morning. Science fact. My "go to" is Yndi Halda's album "Enjoy Eternal Bliss":
I think I like this album too much. It make me feel like 500 little finger cymbals are vibrating in my belly, but in a good way.

When I've listened to the first two songs on the Yndi Halda album, I turn on Yeasayer's "All Hour Cymbals":

Ridiculous. And they make it impossible to think about anything too serious, so I just watch all the goofy people on the train.

Then, 12 minutes and 11 seconds before my subway stop, I listen to something more growely and thorny, Wolves in the Throne Room. Their "Two Hunters" album. I mainly listen to the second song, as I think the male vocals/screaming is much better/in line with how I'm feeling than the female vocals. Especially before I get off the train and go to my desk:

Science fact.

I'm not a music reviewer nor do I care to pretend to be. So you won't get any more description/explaining out of me. No. But I suggest putting one of the three albums on your rotation to spice things up a bit. Come on, I know you need some spice. Science fact?

3) Insane things are happening and I can hardly keep up. Science fact. Roll up your sleeves, kids, it's going to get messy/lovely:

In terms of poems:

a) RealPoetik
Kristi Maxwell has poems up at RealPoetik. Check it out: www.realpoetik.blogspot.com
She rocks: Kristi Maxwell's poems have most recently appeared or are forthcoming in Forklift, Court Green, How2, the Modern Review, and La Petite Zine. Her book, Realm
Sixty-four, is available from Ahsahta Press.

b)Forklift, Ohio
Now available for purchase: Issue #18 of Forklift, Ohio: A Journal of Poetry, Cooking, & Light Industrial Safety.

This issue features the work of: Aaron Balkan, Adam Clay, Adam Fell, Alexis Orgera, Amanda Nadelberg, Ann Stephenson, Bo McGuire, Chad Sweeney, Charlie Clark, Christina Clark, Dean Young, Dobby Gibson, Dorothea Lasky, Dustin Williamson, Erin M. Bertram, Evan Commander, G.C. Waldrep, James Longenbach, Jeremy Hoevenaar, Jillian Weise, Jim Goar, Lindsay Bernal, Lori Shine, Lucas Farrell, Matthew Rohrer, Maud Casey, Michael Schiavo, Mike Shaffer, Peter Davis, Rachel Contreni Flynn, Sally Ball, Timothy O'Keefe, Todd Colby, and Virgil Renfroe. Cover art by Elizabeth Zechel.

Duh, now you have to go to: http://www.forkliftohio.com

c) Drunken Boat...500 years after the expected release of issue #9..comes...issue #9:

http://www.drunkenboat.com

Announcing the premiere of Drunken Boat, the international online journal of the arts, Issue #9, Winter 2007/2008. A triple issue dedicated to Part 2 of the inaugural PanLiterary Awards Winners in seven genres; a folio on contemporary Poetics; and a two-part dossier on Mis/Translation.

Featuring over 150 contributors, including poems by Meena Alexander, Ron Padgett and Dennis Nurkse, essays by Cole Swenson, Steven Burt and Okey Ndibe, translations by Marilyn Hacker, Paul Hoover, and Afaa Michael Weaver, translations of Mahmoud Darwish, Ko Un and Yu Jian, photos by Harlan Erskine, web art by Mark Marino, sound by Gordon Monahan, video by David Bernard Ambrose, Laird Hunt's interview with Oliver Rohe, among many other works.

Including Drunken Boat's Poetics folio, which includes forty contemporary poets and ten non-poets writing essays on a group of the poems. Drunken Boat's rejoinder to Dana Gioia's "Can Poetry Matter?" cedes some fascinating results, from zeal to apathy to out-and-out animosity.

See also Part one of a Two Part series on Mis/Translation, featuring all variety of straight and vexed translations, from magpie steals to computational appropriations, from transinhalations to homophonic recreations. The second part of this feature will be released in about two months time.

***
I'm running out of steam so I'm switching to readings:

a) FRIDAY in NYC:
Landis Everson Memorial
Friday, February 22, 10:00 pm

Please join us as we pay tribute to the life and poetry of Landis Everson. Readers will include Bill Berkson, Bill Corbett, John Hennessy, Matthew Henriksen, Katia Kapovich, Mark Lamoureux, Ben Mazer, Stephen Sturgeon, Jason Zuzga

The Poetry Project
St Mark's Church in the Bowery
131 E 10th St
New York, New York 10003

b) SATURDAY in BOSTON
Saturday * February 23rd * 8pm * The Distillery * 516 East Second Street * South Boston, MA 02127

Feel free to bring booze and snacks.

Mark Bibbins teaches in the graduate writing program at The New School. His first collection of poems, Sky Lounge, received a Lambda award and his second, The Dance of No Hard Feelings, is forthcoming in 2009 from Copper Canyon Press.

John Deming is originally from New Hampshire but currently lives in New York City where he teaches English at Baruch College and L.I.M. College. He is Co-Editor-in-Chief of the poetry book review journal Coldfront. His poems have appeared recently in such journals as Tarpaulin Sky, Past Simple, Dusie and Softblow. He has an MFA from The New School and a BA from the University of New Hampshire.

Matthew Yeager's poems have appeared most recently Bat City Review, Agriculture Reader, and Ocho. His long poem "A Big Ball of Foil in a Small NY Apartment," which was selected by Paul Muldoon for inclusion in Best American Poetry 2005, is currently being adapted into a short film. Shooting begins in March. In 2007, he was awarded fellowships by both VCCA and MacDowell. A native of Cincinnati, OH, he holds a BA from Butler University (2002) and an MFA in Poetry from the New School University (2004). Though he typically works for a catering company, he has taught English at CUNY and is a regular reviewer of poetry for Coldfront Magazine. He lives in Harlem.


c) SUNDAY in Philly

ROBIN'S BOOKSTORE
108 S. 13th St.
Philadelphia

SUNDAY, February 24th
4pm

SHANNA COMPTON
TERESA LEO
ELIZABETH SCANLON

hosted by CAConrad

Shanna Compton's books include For Girls (& Others), Down Spooky, and several chapbooks. Her poems and essays have recently appeared in Absent, Abraham Lincoln, Jumps Journal, Tool, and the Poetry Foundation website. The former associate publisher of Soft Skull Press, she founded Bloof Books (http://www.bloofbooks.com/) in 2007, and runs the DIY Poetry Publishing Cooperative (http://diypublishing.blogspot.com/).

Teresa Leo is the author of a book of poems, The Halo Rule (Elixir Press, 2008), winner of the Elixir Press Editor's Prize. Her poetry and essays have appeared in The American Poetry Review, Poetry, Ploughshares, Women's Review of Books, New Orleans Review, Barrow Street, Italian Americana, Painted Bride Quarterly, Xconnect, and elsewhere. She has been a resident at the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, the Blue Mountain Center, and the Vermont Studio Center, and has received fellowships from the Pew Fellowships in the Arts, the Leeway Foundation, and the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts. She works at the University of Pennsylvania.

Elizabeth Scanlon's poems have appeared in many magazines, including Boston Review, Can We Have Our Ball Back?, Colorado Review, Court Green, CrossConnect, Ducky , Gulf Coast , The Journal , Lit, Painted Bride Quarterly, Ploughshares, Post Road, Swink, and in the Thunder Mouth Press anthology Poets Against the War. She has been featured on the web sites Poetry Daily and Verse Daily. She is co-editor of The American Poetry Review.

***

I want to go to all three. But I know I won't be in Boston (damn, damn). And I don't think I'll still be in Philly for the Compton reading. If you are a world class traveler/poet I hope you can jet to all three.

I've been reading Tony Tosts' Complex Sleep , which is awesome, but tonight I'm going to go see a romance comedy. Um, starring Katherine Hiegel. She's pretty, science fact.

Smaller Animals Are Often Mauled by Larger Animals Press

Part I.
I went to Nebraska(I hate flying):

Before I tell you what poets I saw read in Nebraska this weekend, I want to go over a few philisophical questions that were raised. I shall do this via photographs taken while in NE:

Are you terrified by the faces of children praying?:


Do you have friends that are so good at Scrabble that they can knit at the same time they skool you?:

And do you ever get stuck with tiles game after game like this (the quadrouple "I" phenomena):

And the do you get bored and play words like, "Engorgeristy"?:


Now the questions are getting tougher: it's like you're taking the GREs and getting everything right!

Do you have a Wide Mouth?:

Do you order soup that lists "carrots" as an ingredient and then get a bowl with a noticeably large carrot?:


I will wait patiently for your answers to all of my questions. I am very curious & getting ansy. I will give you all *very* high GRE scores.

**
Part II
John Gallaher read:

And he read from this book:

Wayne Miller read:

And he read from this book:

Betsy Wheeler got the crowd to give her "big ups":

It was so hot.

I couldn't get a good image of Betsy's lovely chapbook, Come Here, so I suggest you just buy a copy from Small Anchor Press here: http://www.smallanchorpress.com/about.html

Zach Schomburg introducing:

The raffle winner won a sweet apple pie. Most likely, if you do not live in Nebraska and you come to Nebraska for a reading, the raffle will be rigged and you might just get the pie of your dreams:

Mathias spinning some intros:


Hawks attack pigeons on the top of the NE state capitol (sad):

If you get desperate in Scrabble, you can spell out the title of Tao Lin's novel (well, it's really titled EEEE EEE EEEE, and you can probably find a way to buy it from his blog, which I suggest you read: http://reader-of-depressing-books.blogspot.com):

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wheel of Poets Press

Ok, I had this genius idea the other day, which unraveled like this:

1) My egg sandwich is delicious!
2) I wish that I could eat & read at the same time :(
3) It's too bad only Wheel of Fortune is on at 7:30pm :( I don't like eating egg sandwiches while watching this show.
4) This is the dumbest show: if you paid attention in 1st-3rd grade, isn't it hard NOT to win loads of money?
5) Poets are usually broke, right?
6) WHY DON'T WE GET ALL THE POETS WE KNOW TO APPLY TO BE ON WHEEL OF FORTUNE????

Genius or what?

So, I did a little follow up investigation to see if this was feasible. It is:
http://www.wheeloffortune.com/contestantsandtickets/beacontestant/adult/

Um, it's really easy to apply (you just cannot have any relatives who work for the show or Jeopardy). AND, the questions they ask you go like (I'm really not joking, I'm cutting and pasting the questions from the link above):

Do you have a pet?
What type of pet do you have?

Are you an NFL fan?
If so, what is your favorite NFL team?

Are you an country music fan?
If so, who is your favorite country music artist?

What is your favorite Soap Opera?
Who is your favorite Soap Opera actor or actress?

This is how they decide who goes on the show? Why aren't we all applying right now?


***

Some thing's abrewin' at the Bowery (yes, you know where it is). I'm pasting the info below. You should go to at least one of the readings if you can:

Our own bent on Valentine's Day:
Thursday Feb 14th:
10:00pm - 11:55pm
Ye Fourth Annual Wife of Bath Valentine's Festival of Erotic Poetry - $7. A Valentine's night guaranteed to loosen your tights featuring Seren Divine as Empress of Gorgeous, David Huberman as Regent Righteous Rod, Tsaurah Litzky as Sultreena - Queen of the Strumpets, Big Mike as Bishop Mighty Cutlass, Diane O'Debra as Maiden Merrymouth, Thad Rutkowski as Baron Thundertwig, Iris Schwartz as High Dutchess of Cleavage, Valery Oisteneau as Vicar of Voluptuous Vice, Shappy as Sire Sweetkiss! + Infamous Oddest
Bodice Contest! and TripleXXX Medieval Burlesque! $7 http://tsaurahlitzky.com/

Saturday Feb 16th:
8:00pm - 9:30pm
NYSCA and Bowery Arts and Science National Treasures Presents: JOHN GIORNO, JAVIER COLIS, JULIAN BLANE - $10, students FREE

Sunday Feb 17th:
6:00pm - 8:30pm
Urban Word/Bowery Arts & Science Benefit: HOLLYWOOD DOES POETRY w/John Ashbery Eric Bogosian, Patricia Clarkson, Sarah Vowel and others...

***

Sunday night Zinc is also rocking out with Matthew (Zappy) Zapruder and Noel Kocot:

Noelle Kocot and Matthew Zapruder
The Zinc Bar, 90 W. Houston (at LaGuardia Place)
Sunday February 17th, 7pm

***

Sometimes New York Is Weird Press


My friend XG lives uptown and because I live in Brooklyn I haven't seen him in 2 months. He likes to blame his PhD program. I like to blame him. Sometimes when people send you their self-portraits it makes you miss them. It also makes you think that they look like they're reaching the breaking point during house-arrest. Come to Brooklyn.

Now this sounds like a good reading:

The Burning Chair Readings
invite you to recalibrate your ears
w/

Pierre Joris & Dan Machlin

Friday, February 15th, 2008
7:30 PM

The Fall Café
307 Smith Street
btwn. Union & President
Carroll Garden, Brooklyn
F/G to Carroll
FREE

Pierre Joris is a poet, translator, essayist & anthologist who left Luxembourg at 19 and has since lived in France, England, Algeria & the United States. He has published over forty books, with, forthcoming in 2008, Aljibar II (poems, a bilingual edition with French translations by Eric Sarner) and Justifying the Margins: Essays 1990-2006 (SALT Publishing). His 2007 publications include the CD Routes, not Roots (with Munir Beken, oud; Mike Bisio, bass; Ben Chadabe, percussion; & Mitch Elrod, guitar) issued by Ta’wil Productions; Aljibar (with French translations by Eric Sarner, published in Luxembourg by Editions PHI) and Meditations on the Stations of Mansour Al-Hallaj 1-21(Anchorite Press, Albany). Recent translations include Paul Celan: Selections, and Lightduress by Paul Celan, which received the 2005 PEN Poetry Translation Award. With Jerome Rothenberg he edited the award-winning anthologies Poems for the Millennium (volumes I & II) and most recently, Pablo Picasso, The Burial of the Count of Orgaz & Other Poems. He is
Professor for poetry and poetics at the University of Albany, State University of New York. Check out his website & his Nomadics blog.

Dan Machlin’s first full-length collection of poems Dear Body: was published by Ugly Duckling Presse in Fall 2007. He is also the author of several previous chapbooks: 6x7, This Side Facing You, In Rem; and an audio-CD collaboration with Singer/Cellist Serena Jost, Above Islands. His poems and reviews have recently appeared in/on Critiphoria.org, Crayon, Turntable & Blue Light, and A Portable Boog Reader 2. He is the founding editor of Futurepoem books.

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I went to the dentist yesterday: no cavities, free toothbrush.

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But I have been having terrible tile selection in Scrabble recently.

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What else? More egg sandwiches for dinner. I'm going to read more of The World Without Us tonight. Unlike last night, where I ate an egg sandwich and then distracted myself with the terrible Anna Paquin movie Blue State (main character moves to Canada after Kerry is defeated to meet a mate from www.MarryACanadian.com i.e. run away from his problems. Isn't that why everyone marries a Canadian? Just kidding, Anne Carson.). Anyways, then I was reading:

(Buy it at Tarplin Sky)

I'm going to finish it tonight.

One of my favorite lines from it "stars are no map of civility in our garden of little let-downs"

Also, "I am busy counting dots in the iris of a black bear in our perfect block of ice."

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One of my favorite poems:

Look I am King Of The Forest
Says The King Of The Forest
As he growls magnificently.
Look, I am in pain. My right leg
Does not fit my left leg.
I am King Of The Forest
Says The King Of The Forest.
And the other beasts hear him and would rather
They were King Of The Forest
But that their right leg
Would fit their left leg.
'Beauty is so rare a thing,' Pound sang.
'So few drink at my fountain.'

-Jack Spicer, From Fifteen False Propositions Against God, II, The Collected Books of Jack Spicer, Black Sparrow Press, Los Angeles, 1975.

It is a comfort to know that this poem exists.

Tell me why you like this poem. It will make you feel better, too.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Match Me Stab For Stab Press

Two Blogs in One Day? Yes, you're not hallucinating. Someone must be having trouble focusing on her work when the snow is falling like shetland ponies outside.
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So this is happening to you Friday. But in order for it to happen to you in a way that will benefit your spleen and your kidney, amongst other internal organs, you must actually attend:

Please Celebrate the Birth of the New Series

With Bill Rasmovicz, Jean-Paul Pecqueur & James Hoch!
This Friday, February 15th -- 7pm!
FREE!

Bill Rasmovicz is a graduate of the Vermont College MFA in Writing Program and Temple University School of Pharmacy. His poems have appeared in Hotel Amerika, Nimrod, Mid-American Review, and other publications. He has served as a workshop co-leader and literary excursion leader throughout Italy, Croatia, Slovenia, Germany, England and Wales, and was the recipient of the Alice James Books 2006 Kinereth Gensler Award for his manuscript, The World in Place of Itself.

Jean-Paul Pecqueur is from Tacoma, Washington. His first book, The Case Against Happiness, was published by Alice James in 2006. He currently lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, the tornado capital of NYC.

Prior to teaching, James Hoch was a dishwasher, cook, dockworker, social worker and shepherd. His poems have appeared in Slate, Kenyon Review, Ninth Letter, and many others. He is the recipient of fellowships and scholarships from Bread Loaf, Sewanee, and Summer Literary Seminars, and received a 2007 NEA grant. Miscreants will be published by WW Norton in June, 2007. A Parade of Hands won the Gerald Cable Award and was published in March 2003 by Silverfish Review Press. He resides in Mahwah, NJ with his wife and son.

Only at Pete's Candy Store
709 Lorimer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
(718) 302-3770

"L" to Lorimer, "G" to Metropolitan
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And the on Sunday, this little gallery will rock your snowshoes off:

WHEN: Sunday, February 17th from 4:30-6:00 pm
WHERE: 440 Gallery, 440 Sixth Avenue (at 9th St., F to 7th Ave.)
CONTACT: Brooke Shaffner at brshaffner@hotmail.com
Admission Free

WHO:

JOSHUA HARMON
Joshua Harmon is the author of Quinnehtukqut, a novel. His fiction, nonfiction, and poems have appeared in many journals, and he has received fellowships in fiction from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Rhode Island State Council on the Arts. He teaches at Vassar College.

RICHARD SCHEIWE
Richard Scheiwe received his MFA from the New School in 2005. His poetry and criticism have appeared in Poet Lore, Verse, Octopus, and his chapbook, The Dry Moon Dialogue, was published in early 2008 by Fields Press. He is an adjunct professor of English composition and literature at CUNY and co-edits Sink Review.

MICHAEL SPIES
Michael Spies graduated from the University of Vermont in 2006, where he received the Albee Award for outstanding prose and composition. He has published two feature articles in The Village Voice, and is working toward an MFA in creative nonfiction at Columbia.

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So now that yuo have plans for Friday and Sunday, you can relax. You're "cool" man.
I'm not sure if "man" should also be in quotation marks.
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I can't decide if I want to do the Birthright trip to Israel. It'd be my last chance to go for free and with my brother, before I'm "over the hill" in Birthright years. This might be something I regret if I don't go. I've actually been trying to register all day and it won't let me. Just trying to "cover the bases" since today/tomorrow is the deadline. The website brings you to the "Jewish Waiting Room" where your computer screen literally waits for its turn to register for the trip. Odd. I've been in the waiting room all day.

Do you think it's cheesy or cultish? Or a free trip/weird experience?

Monday, February 11, 2008

Vanity Press Press

Your Choise Is Go Wild Or Go Wild.
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This is why I love my friends. KA describes the perfect all-night date she had this weekend (makes me feel old):

"We [did dirty things]. Meandered to a 7/11 at 5am for some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Took the train to Coney Island to get some ocean in our shoes. And watched a string of mop-related infomercials. It was kind of perfect."

Even when many things are out of my control, bad things, I remember that there a few certain people in my life that will always make me feel like I'm doing something right.
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Last night I had a dream that I was the writer for a TV show called "Track Stars & Hot Spies." It starred Adam Brody. Track stars were either being trained as or trained to find and fight Hot Spies. Becuase they were Track Stars, there was lots of running action shots.

I wrote the dialogue and the action sequences.
I think I should stick to poetry & blogs.
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The Juliet Patterson/ Dara Wier reading last night was great. Juliet had to read over really loud bar music coming from the other room as well as clanging pipes (from the heat?), but she as well as Dara read very well. I usually zone in and out of readings but I mostly paid attention to them. I much more enjoy Dara's serious poems over her funny ones.
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This weekend I watched a documentary on I.M. Pei:


Pei is very articulate and adorable in his interviews, so in love with containing and displaying space. In the footage, he walks around the different buildings he has designed with a sense of pride in his own accomplishments and humbleness towards the history and future of architecture.

I also watched a documentary on Max Ernst. His face is entirely hypnotic. Some people have hypnotic eyes, but it's his whole face. He went through a lot of women, including Peggy G.



Sunday, February 10, 2008

Oneupsmanship Press

I think that I have been looking at the ground too much. No, not in a metaphorical sense. In the sense that I saw this robot body squished into the pavement last night:


And then, this morning on my way to my office (Yes, it's Sunday) I saw a trail of cookie dough. Cookie dough, not cookie crumbs:
Trail #1:

Trail #2:

Jackpot:


Then sometimes it takes me a while to build up the energy to go to work on a Sunday so I see what sort of photos I can take from my bed. My roommate, Ludwig, watches me from the living room and makes comments such as "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" and "Should you really be taking pictures of your wall?" and "I'm hungry.":

My wall/scratches:


Drowning:

When I was in the UK this summer I bought some newspaper images and articles from before 1923, which means that they are in the public domain and I can use them however my tender heart pleases. This image says, "The Movement By Which Air Is Made To Enter The Lungs," which will clearly go in a poem very soon.

This Bag Is Not A Toy:


This Toy Is Not A Bag/ Stickers:


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Ok, besides the reading I'm going to on Monday at A&B, there are some other readings happening that I won't make:

You can't read the small font either? Ok, it's this Thursday and features poets such as Jennifer Michael Hecht, Christine Hamm, and Nick Adamski and then hot hot hot New School MFA graduates. Click on the image for the "deets."

Then, if you're thinking about going to either of the readings below, go to the first one so you can hear Maggie Wells read. Well, Honor Moore will be rocking out the second one so I guess it's your call:

Two readings to celebrate The Best American Erotic Poems: From 1800 to the Present ed. David Lehman:

February 11, 2008, 7:00 pm
David Lehman and contributors Sarah Arvio, Star Black, Laura Cronk, Michael Quattrone, Paul Violi, and Maggie Wells.
The Museum of Sex
233 Fifth Avenue (@ 27th Street)
New York, NY 10016
General Information: (212) 689-6337
FREE


February 14, 2008, 7:00 p.m.
David Lehman and contributors Billy Collins, Deborah Landau, Noah Michelson, Honor Moore, Molly Peacock,
and Mark Strand.
New York University
Hemmerdinger Hall, Silver Center
100 Washington Square East
New York, NY
(212) 998-8816
FREE

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I've been going through the presses I like, seeing what places have open readings/do not say "NO unsolicited manuscripts." MANY places are not looking at manuscripts right now unless they are solicited so I figure I would save you some time if I share my little journey (read "little journey" as "how I wasted my Sunday") with you:

Press (non-university) that are NOT going to look at your ms right now unless they asked for it:

Copper Canyon
Coffee House Press
BOA Editions
Coach House Books
Barrowstreet Books
Carolina Wren Press
Hanging Loose Press
Red Hen press
New Issies
Litmus Press
Peurgia Press (if you'r female, check back in August)
Quale Press

Then:
Red Morning (closed now, will reopen soonish)
Saturnalia Books (closed now, will reopen in April)
Omnidawn (closed now, will reopen in March)

Ok, I'm stopping with that list because I'm getting tired of looking up presses. I'll post more later.

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To presses that ARE reading right now, I'm going to send out my full length ms with the title "Triggermoon Triggermoon." What you're feeling is love.

Right? Right?