Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I'll Grow My Own Crown of Thorns So I Don't Need to Pay a Gardener Press

Oh, this is the saddest / best thing that will happen to you today:
(video called "Dear/Deer" featuring the band Akron/Family, their song, "Don't Be Afriad, You're Already Dead")

I really, really hope you just watched that.


Also, if you have the time, listen to:

1) The Raincoats:

2) Heartless Bastards "All This Time"

I like the lyric, "Since you took my breath again / can you share your oxygen"

This is by far the dorkiest video I have seen in a while (for a song I like):

Remember the slug sex video I posted? Remember? I had a lovely follow-up conversation with the knowledgable poet Ken Rumble that went like this (over gchat, don't make fun of me):
that slug video
do you know what freaky stuff they do
when they do
me: what do you mean?
Ken: two words:
and I don't mean the sexy kind
do you know about this??
me: the leopard slugs?
Ken: yup
all slugs
me: they dont eat each other's dicks, ken
Ken: yes they do
here's the deal:
slugs are hermaphrodites
they have these really weird penises
me: david attenboro made no mention of this when he narrated it. did you listen with the volume on?
Ken: oh shit, no
no volume
but I know this about slugs
it's a good story
so they're hermaphrodites
and sometimes they get stuck together in the act of lovemaking
and so they start trying to chew each other's things off
so that they
can get free
and go about their days
the one who gets it chewed off
stays that way
with just the female organs
but damn,
now I have to go listen to this video apparently.
me: can i post this converation on my blog?
Ken: hell's yeah....
but let's add some expletives
ho bag asshole dick drip
me: you dont want [your daughter, Violet] googling your name and finding "ho bag asshole dick drip" by ken rumble
do you?
Ken: hmmmm
good point, Cohen
that's why you get paid the big bucks
guess we'll cut that part
or what if we just put in a series of
you know
those things
then she'll just be like
"dad, why
do you write
with the letters
that aren't letters???"
me: and thus, your daughter's first poem is born


Ken Rumble said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ken Rumble said...

I thought we were going to replace all the @#$@#%$%@# expletives???!!!???

Julia Cohen said...


Ken Rumble said...

You're killing me, Cohen.

Kate said...

i would very much like to have a plastic boy-deer who i could dress in slings and prepare to cross highways. MAKE IT HAPPEN.